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Telluride Bachelor Party- Want your bachelor party in Telluride/Mountain Village?

Fill out this form and we will start planning... we can make it FUN, or super, Super, SUPER FUN!

Starting at $2000 for ten people.

SUPER FUN parties start at $250,000 for ten people.

The following are oath that should be taken at the beginning of the party.

Chase it with a shot for optimum effect.

"I (state your name) do solemnly swear that as a gentleman of the world I will

respect and honor my brothers. I will not reveal the secrets of the evening. In

aking this oath I understand that violating it will result in punishment that could

include castration by way of a dirty, dull, knife. If asked about the happenings of

he evening I shall reply:" "We ate pizza and watched porno movies. The groom

got really drunk. His grandfather was there" It is that simple. We realize total

silence is impossible, so a boring alibi is best. Mentioning the presence of

someone older usually results in the assumption that they tempered the fun.

Bachelor Party must do list:

Do a shot

Watch porno movies

Eat the last slice of pizza, the last buffalo wing, whatever

Write the name of your bride on your right palm.

Get someone to talk dirty to you

Dance with two women at once.

Moon someone on the highway

Drink some rot-gut whiskey

Stuff a dollar in someone's underwear.

Kiss a woman older than your mother

Convince a woman to rub the best man's shoulders

Buy the hottest woman in the bar a drink

Go talk to her and get DISSED!!!

Get a girl to kiss you

Get a girl to spank you.

Ask at least 5 women if they are your fiance.

Tell someone to kiss your ass.

Get someone to buy you a shot

Have a beer chugging race with the rest of the bachelor party

Get someone's number (in case you decide to bail).

Convince a stranger you're bride to be is still a virgin.

Try to convince a woman that men don't need to remain virgins before marriage, but woman must. Develop a

rational case for this.

Fill out this form and we will start planning... we can make it FUN, or super, Super, SUPER FUN!

Bachelor Party Rules

1. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or

dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts.

You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone

within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable

exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a

woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the

temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends

birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty.

Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden

to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant

it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate

knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer. If you own a sleep sofa or live on the

second floor it is pizza and beer. If you own a sleep sofa and live on the second floor it shall be eaten inside

a restaurant. If you are over 35 years old hire some movers you cheap bastard.

16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

17. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not

required to make nice with her gal pal's significant dick-heads --- low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.

18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in

progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her

the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses.

20. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's

delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

21. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

23. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight,you must jump into the fight. Exception: If

within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin",

then you may sit back and enjoy.

24.Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weightlifting:

"Yeah, baby, push it!"

"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"

"Another set and we can hit the showers."

" Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

25. If the breasts are fake you can stare all you want. The poor girl paid for ten thousand dollars worth of

attention and dammit we are going to give it to her.

26. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

27. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your

response.

28. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in

line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

29.If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

30.Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get

on his feet, look you in the eye,and deliver a "FUCK OFF!" You are absolved of your of responsibility.

31.The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just friends" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the

fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a

big mistake it was.

32.Threesomes are girl-guy-girl only. No swordfighting allowed.

Fill out this form and we will start planning... we can make it FUN, or super, Super, SUPER FUN!